Trying to pin down God is like trying to put your finger on a drop of mercury. The harder you try, the more beads split from the first and scoot away.
For me, when understanding comes, my actions usually lag far behind. The pull of old habits, thoughts and behaviors protect the status quo. And while the strings of my heart are irrevocably tied to our Savior, the thoughts of my mind still focus on me. My transformation. My needs. My deliverance. Yes, Lord you can use me, but will you fix me first? I can wait.
It can be frustrating —not knowing where the “end” is. We want to set up house and get comfortable. Yet, as much as we might want to, it’s not the point. As Peter commands, “…grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.” (2 Peter 3:18) This knowledge comes not from our learning OF God, but from our experience WITH God. We may squirm and yearn for the safety of the status quo, but as we venture into the embrace of our Heavenly Father, our submision leads to vibrancy, depth and fullness of faith.
I’ve been reading Oswald Chambers’ My Utmost for His Highest. If you want to shake up your faith and start finding doors all over the place, start reading this classic. Every day Chambers points out facets of our Redeemer I hadn’t considered. Every day he shows me what “more of you, less of me” actually looks like. Let me tell you, I've been doing my fair share of squirming!
On the first page, he writes, “Paul says, ‘My determination is to be my utmost for His Highest.’ To get there is a question of will, not of debate nor of reasoning, but a surrender of will, an absolute and irrevocable surrender on that point…Shut out every other consideration and keep yourself before God for this one thing only—My Utmost for His Highest. I am determined to be absolutely and entirely for Him and for Him alone.”
I challenge you to look for doors in the boundaries you’ve set for God. Open them and take a step into the unknown. Offer your utmost for His highest. It may not be easy, but the risk is always worth the reward.
"I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have
sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body,
whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain."