April 27, 2010

The Scone of Life

It was a nondescript building—more like a shed actually—tucked behind a rehabbed diner. Marked by the smallest of signs and barely visible from the road, one could easily drive by and miss it altogether. In fact, I would have if my friend Carrie hadn’t guided me to its “secret” location.

She’d told much about this place, but honestly from the looks of it I prepared myself to be disappointed. Yet my opinion changed drastically when I stepped inside and took a breath. An aroma danced in the air inviting me to inhale again, deeply. The tantalizing scents ushered in an olfactory experience that led me to one conclusion.

I was in heaven.

While heaven smelled blissful, it looked strangely like triangular pastries. Sugar, flour, butter, raisins, coconut and other ingredients like berries, pears, pineapples, macadamia nuts, lemon, chocolate or figs masterfully combined and shaped, then sprinkled with sugar crystals and baked to golden perfection.

While my nose knew we’d arrived at the pearly gates, I ordered one just to make sure. Filled with anticipation, I took a bite. Sweet and flaky. Light and luxurious. Decadent and divine. A melody of tastes blended to create a savory symphony that inspired angels to sing. Really, I heard them.

Singing in scone heaven.

The good news is one can take paradise “to-go” because it’s sold as blocks of frozen dough ready to bake at home. Carrie stocked up on a bunch to give as gifts (because she’s an incredibly thoughtful person). I bought a bunch to hide in my freezer, and perhaps share with my husband (because, well, I’m not Carrie).

I am, however, like Pavlov’s dog at the thought of those little bundles of glory safely ensconced in my freezer. There are puddles of drool on my desk right now. Seriously. It's gross.

While frozen scone dough allows one to stockpile inventory, it provides the distinct disadvantage of being…um…frozen. Before it can be baked the dough must defrost overnight in the fridge or be left on the counter for an hour. Either way, the road to scone bliss is paved with advance planning. Not always an acceptable answer.

This is especially true when one experiences what Carrie has aptly named—the scone emergency! This crisis can be brought on by a wide range of experiences (PMS, a bad day at work, a fight with your spouse, frustration with your kids, being disappointed by a friend, stress about finances, the sun rising in the East, excessive thoughts of scones, etc.), but all bring on the same urgent plea. “Help! I need one now!”

Perhaps this is why God created the defrost setting on the microwave.

Now I’ve tasted and seen that the scone is good and life will never be the same again. I marvel at the restorative power and scrumptiousness that awaits in my freezer. (Please don’t even think the subpar offerings at your supermarket or even at Starbucks are anything other than scone blasphemy!)

This entire experience has led me to believe Biblical scholars made a serious error when translating Jesus’ teachings on baked goods. Surely the true meaning of the text springs to life with these “corrections”…

“I am the scone of life.” (John 6:48)

“I tell you the truth, you are looking for me, not because you saw miraculous signs but because you ate the fresh-from-the-oven scones and had your fill.” (John 6:26)

“I am the living scone that came down from heaven. If anyone eats of this scone, he will live forever. This scone is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world.” (John 6:51)

It’s kind of obvious, actually. A dry, crusty loaf… or warm, sweet, luscious perfection? The former leaves me grasping for the emotional and intellectual connection. And the latter inspires divine adoration and fills my heart with joy. Put in that context, hungering for righteousness is a no-brainer!

Perhaps I may be a bit off, but there is one thing of which I am 100% certain. After all this waxing nostalgic about heavenly pastries I feel a real emergency coming on.

P.S. If you feel I’ve crossed the line theologically, you obviously have never experienced these scones!

j. scones are made by renowned pastry chef Jodi Schad and are sold at her bake shop located at 4119 Swamp Road, Doylestown, PA. You can also buy them online at Williams and Sonoma. Or, you can drop by my house. (I will, of course, claim to have just run out.)


Runner Mom said...

I'll be at your house in about 9 hours give or take! They should defrost by then!! Love the analogy! Those scriptures will have a different twist the next time that I read them!!

Austin eats everything and then a little bit more, and 5 minutes later, a little bit more! And it continues! And he doesn't gain a pound!!! I was scared that the tux pants would fall down...but there were suspenders to keep them up!!! Love it!!

Have a great one. I'll think of you when I have my lonely Greek yogurt at 10 this morning, and you're eating a scone!!

Love you!

Dan said...

Kelli speaks the truth. These things are awesome. Somewhere within them is the key to life itself. Only diligent and continued research can uncover it. There are, in fact, two defrosting right now. So, please do NOT drop by in the next hour, or we will simply have to flat-out lie to your face about having any. While entirely necessary (and fully defensible at the pearly gates by the angels themselves whom Kelli references), it would not be Christian, and thus would make us feel bad. For, like, one millisecond.

KelliGirl said...

I'm nicer than Dan and would definitely share one with you! But you better hurry because I just took some out of the oven. :-)

Cheryl Barker said...

A scone emergency, huh? Love that :) Enjoy!

Susan S said...

Great post! Personally I am an ice cream girl. Uncle Dave and Mr. Goodnoe should be sainted. And no defrosting necessary! Luckily God gave us the brainfreeze to keep us in moderation. (BTW, Carrie introduced me to Yardley Ice House, it was matching your description at first).

Terri Tiffany said...

I think you are in for a whole lot of company!!!

Laura said...

You are so cute, Kelli. These look scrumptious, and there's nothing better with a cupa than something scrumptious.

Where is Doylestown, PA? Close to Pittsburgh? I'm heading to Pitt. in a couple weeks. Would love to take a scone break!

Sue J. said...

My Dad makes scones. (But he uses competitor company King Arthur Flour for his mixes.) They are very tasty (especially with a really good coffee--yum!yum!yum!!).

But, I have to say, there is such a thing as great bread--with that special aroma, crunch, warm chewy insides. MMmmmm....

Sometimes you're hungry for a scone and sometimes you're hungry for bread! Just love your playing around today and enticing us with your great words.

Kelly Combs said...

I'm catching oup on your blog. I love this playful analogy! I happen to love rolls with honey butter, just a good ole' soft yeasty roll, Mmmmm. I love bread. And I am so thankful for the bread (or scone) of life - whichever the case may be!

And when ever you have bread, it's always a good idea to have some living water along with it!