From Good to Better...to Best

Hello flashing cursor and blank white page. It’s good to be back, my friend.

Has absence made your heart grow fonder? Or will you chastise me for neglect? I have excuses at the ready to explain my time away. Some good, some lame. But honestly I’ve neglected you for a simple reason—my attention has been focused elsewhere.

And it’s been a good thing.

2011 was a different kind of year. It brought a season of stripping away as God taught me some hard lessons about holding loosely onto the ways I serve Him. See, I kept a tight grip on the ministries I’d been involved. To me these things were a big part of how I defined myself as a Christian servant. They gave me joy and filled me with pride and I think occasionally bore fruit.  

But truth is, the joy was past tense and the staying was out of obligation. I soldiered on because I thought that’s what I was supposed to do...and God wanted me to do. Plus my ego confirmed, “You can’t leave. This is who you are. They need you…who will take your place?”

Yet in several areas I knew the time had come to say goodbye. And in the walking away I didn't feel regret or remorse as expected, I felt relief and renewal and peace. Yes, it was time.

My empty calendar beckoned, “Fill me up. Don’t be idle. Get busy!” But God said, “Be still.”

And in the in-between-time He allowed my empty hands to grasp more tightly to the passions He’s led me to. And He opened up new ways of serving Him and His people. Often in unexpected ways.

But my writing voice remained quiet. The words set aside, seemingly content to be stored away. Lord, are you calling me from writing, too? In time I’ve felt His answer, “Give voice to the stories I give you.”

After our last trip to Haiti last October I saw this confirmed as God provided amazing opportunities to share our stories from Haiti. In the telling, people were touched, hearts were softened and eyes opened. Others were blessed and I was too.

I know God’s given me a gift with words but I’ve struggled with my role as a writer. For a while I tried to imitate successful writers' habits. But I could never sustain the focus and drive needed to earn the title, "Writer." Guilt followed my lack of discipline.

It's been rewarding to have my words reach others. And exciting to dip my toe in the pool of publication. But I realized I’ve jumped into the writing dreams of others. And this held me hostage. During my break from writing I’ve come to understand that I don’t have a burning passion to write (and that’s OK)... but I do have a passion to tell the stories that God is so vividly writing on the tablets of my heart. Stories of Haiti and the prison. Stories of His amazing grace. Stories of love in action. Stories of adventures with my Guide.

Writing is an extension of my greater calling. An integral part of it. So I look forward to 2012 with open ears and an expectant heart. Excited to see what stories God will tell anew and which ones He’ll continue.

In the beginning of Philippians, Paul says a prayer for the Philippians that strikes me as the secret to success for this Christian journey we’re on: “And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.”

His prayer has become my prayer: to grow in love and wisdom so that I can discern good and best. Just because I CAN do something, doesn't mean I SHOULD do it. Sometimes "No" is the best answer. I don't know if what I'm doing now is the best, but I do know it's better. And in that I'll keep striving for discernment. Because with the "best" comes with the abundant blessings of Christ. And that, my friends, is where I want to be!

What good (and not so good) things are you clutching? If you loosen your grip, what might Christ give you to hold?

Blessing the "Yes!"

Today's my devotion is running at Internet Cafe Devotions. It's a topic I've written a lot about, but one that keeps knocking my socks off. I hope you'll read on and join me there.

Three years ago our couples’ Friday night Bible study tossed around missions ideas we might do together. From the comfort of our college-educated, suburban lives we made logical suggestions—the homeless shelter, tutoring, a food pantry or Habitat for Humanity—but we rejected them all. As our minds searched for new ideas, someone said, “What about prison?”

No one said “no.” In fact no one said anything. We sat stunned and silent. Seconds clicked by and God stepped in. We agreed in unison, “Yes! Prison ministry.”

Moments later I wondered, “What have we done?”

None of us brought a single qualification to prison ministry yet we pursued the idea anyway. Through several “coincidences” God led us to a local prison ministry that ran a weekly worship service. To our surprise its leaders welcomed us, and within a couple months we made our first visit to a maximum security men’s prison.

We weaved our way down the institutional hallways, deeper into the prison, to the chapel.

The service was nothing like I expected or had ever experienced. The inmates who attended were friendly and polite, not scary or threatening. And the service was loud, joyful, spirit-filled and uplifting. Today the prison chapel is my favorite place to worship.

Yet I still struggle to find my place in the ministry. The little voice inside reminds me I don’t belong. First of all I’m a woman—a bit out of place in a men’s prison. My life story doesn’t resemble the harsh realities the men have faced, so I can’t relate to their specific struggles. Plus, I don’t lead worship or sing or play an instrument.

My sensible side adds up the facts and says, “leave.”

But God says, “stay." {Keep Reading}

Not Me, God. I’m Exhausted.

Last week I was presented with two ministry opportunities. Both are with organizations I believe in, work with and support, and both were unexpected requests. Initially I was flattered to be asked to take a bigger role in each, but when the reality of adding more to my volunteer/ministry plate sunk in, the logical side of my brain screamed, “Are you crazy! The last thing you need is MORE work to do. You’re already doing far more than your fair share!”

The other half of my brain agreed, “Ya’ know, you’re right. Why should I be expected to do more? And how can I fulfill my other obligations if I said ‘yes?’”

That was pretty much my mindset all week. But inside, my spirit felt unsettled and challenged my trigger response. While the world may look favorably upon me if I do my "part," what does God have to say on the matter? Is giving Him my parts enough?

I turned to Scripture for answers. This verse stood out:

“From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.” Luke 12:48

I also discovered that as followers of Christ we are to:

• Allow ourselves to be broken and poured out like a drink offering. (Philippians 2:17)
• Offer our lives to the Lord as living sacrifices. (Romans 12:1)
• Grow in wisdom so we can to discern between what is good and what is BEST. (Philippians 1:10)
• Not grow weary from doing good. (Galatians 6:9)
• Conduct ourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. (Philippians 1:27)
• Run with perseverance the race marked out for us. (Hebrews 12:1)
• Glorify God in all we do. (1 Corinthians 6:20; 10:31)

These job descriptions tell me our Heavenly Father doesn’t want part of us, He wants ALL of us. Excuses like, “Later,” “Find someone else,” or “I’m too busy/tired/stressed out,” don’t seem to be biblical responses.

Whenever I need a spiritual wake-up call, I turn to Oswald Chambers. Here's what he has to say:

You have no right to say—“O Lord, I am so exhausted.” He saved and sanctified you in order to exhaust you. Be exhausted for God, but remember that your supply comes from Him. “All my fresh springs shall be in Thee.”

So, there’s my answer. I must never grow weary and I need to say “yes” to every ministry request. Right? Well, that doesn't seem to be the appropriate response either.


The other day I happened upon a blog that helped clarify my thoughts. The pictures in the blog reminded me of my love for these people (which happens to be where one of my ministry opportunities lies). The images rekindled a flame in my heart. My spirit tingled with excitement.

I know that feelings are an unfaithful guide, but God’s given each of us unique gifts, hearts and passions. Shouldn’t these inner promptings direct us to where God’s calling us to serve? It seems that when we serve in these areas, our service isn’t a duty or response to guilt, it’s an act of love for our Heavenly Father who’s given us so much.

With refocused eyes, I reviewed the two ministry opportunities. The first one I have the skills to offer, but no passion for what I’ve been asked to do and it conflicts with my other “kingdom” activities. I feel at peace saying “no.” With the other opportunity, it’s clear God has given me a heart and desire to serve with the organization and the people they minister to. Even tentatively, I must say “yes.”

Part of me wants to selfishly protect my time and serve out of my comfort and convenience. But I hear Oswald Chambers reminding me, "Be exhausted for God." Such exhaustion is a privilege, not a burden.

I’ve been given much and I know that blessing comes with a great responsibility. In my heart I truly want to use all God gave me to bring glory to His name. I recognize that in this season, the demands upon me are great, but I will trust that my strength will come from Him who called me here in the first place.