From Good to Better...to Best

Hello flashing cursor and blank white page. It’s good to be back, my friend.

Has absence made your heart grow fonder? Or will you chastise me for neglect? I have excuses at the ready to explain my time away. Some good, some lame. But honestly I’ve neglected you for a simple reason—my attention has been focused elsewhere.

And it’s been a good thing.

2011 was a different kind of year. It brought a season of stripping away as God taught me some hard lessons about holding loosely onto the ways I serve Him. See, I kept a tight grip on the ministries I’d been involved. To me these things were a big part of how I defined myself as a Christian servant. They gave me joy and filled me with pride and I think occasionally bore fruit.  

But truth is, the joy was past tense and the staying was out of obligation. I soldiered on because I thought that’s what I was supposed to do...and God wanted me to do. Plus my ego confirmed, “You can’t leave. This is who you are. They need you…who will take your place?”

Yet in several areas I knew the time had come to say goodbye. And in the walking away I didn't feel regret or remorse as expected, I felt relief and renewal and peace. Yes, it was time.

My empty calendar beckoned, “Fill me up. Don’t be idle. Get busy!” But God said, “Be still.”

And in the in-between-time He allowed my empty hands to grasp more tightly to the passions He’s led me to. And He opened up new ways of serving Him and His people. Often in unexpected ways.

But my writing voice remained quiet. The words set aside, seemingly content to be stored away. Lord, are you calling me from writing, too? In time I’ve felt His answer, “Give voice to the stories I give you.”

After our last trip to Haiti last October I saw this confirmed as God provided amazing opportunities to share our stories from Haiti. In the telling, people were touched, hearts were softened and eyes opened. Others were blessed and I was too.

I know God’s given me a gift with words but I’ve struggled with my role as a writer. For a while I tried to imitate successful writers' habits. But I could never sustain the focus and drive needed to earn the title, "Writer." Guilt followed my lack of discipline.

It's been rewarding to have my words reach others. And exciting to dip my toe in the pool of publication. But I realized I’ve jumped into the writing dreams of others. And this held me hostage. During my break from writing I’ve come to understand that I don’t have a burning passion to write (and that’s OK)... but I do have a passion to tell the stories that God is so vividly writing on the tablets of my heart. Stories of Haiti and the prison. Stories of His amazing grace. Stories of love in action. Stories of adventures with my Guide.

Writing is an extension of my greater calling. An integral part of it. So I look forward to 2012 with open ears and an expectant heart. Excited to see what stories God will tell anew and which ones He’ll continue.

In the beginning of Philippians, Paul says a prayer for the Philippians that strikes me as the secret to success for this Christian journey we’re on: “And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.”

His prayer has become my prayer: to grow in love and wisdom so that I can discern good and best. Just because I CAN do something, doesn't mean I SHOULD do it. Sometimes "No" is the best answer. I don't know if what I'm doing now is the best, but I do know it's better. And in that I'll keep striving for discernment. Because with the "best" comes with the abundant blessings of Christ. And that, my friends, is where I want to be!

What good (and not so good) things are you clutching? If you loosen your grip, what might Christ give you to hold?

Not Good . . . but Better!

It’s no secret I have a yen for home improvements but with bathrooms and front doors finished, and no plans for the near future, I've been getting a little antsy. So I set my sights on improving the space right here...my blog. Welcome to my spruced up corner of the blogosphere.

I’ve been writing here for more than three years—sporadically more than anything, but pressing on nonetheless. It's been a place I've pondered and processed and grew and shared. As I reflect on these last years—almost 300 posts and tens of thousands of words written—I see that while I've changed the look of my blog, God has changed me.

When I started writing here I was playing lots of tennis and having a great time with it. Much of my days were filled with tennis matches and drills and lunches with friends. Life was good and full and carefree. But tennis had become more than a hobby; it was more like a part time job (that I paid for). And something inside told me that God hadn’t put me on this earth to spend my days that way—that He had more planned for me.

I pulled back from tennis a bit, but continued to play competitively. And then in a match almost exactly three years ago from today, I went for a shot and hurt my elbow badly. The diagnosis? Tennis elbow. What should have gone away in 12 weeks lingered for months. I saw many doctors and therapists, and tried all sorts of treatments. Nothing worked. “Give it time,” most of the specialists said.

The fall tennis season started without me and I mourned the loss of a big part of my life. I looked for ways to fill my surplus of free time and started to write more. I started to focus less on myself and more on others. I discovered gifts I didn’t know I had. And my relationship with God became more intimate and personal.

When I look the last three post-tennis years, I am amazed at the places God has led me. How He’s changed my outlook and centered my thoughts on His work. His children. His purpose for my life.
Since I set down my tennis racket, I’ve:

• Been to writers’ conferences
• Joined a writers’ group.
• Had stories and articles published (and actually got paid!)
• Been on—not just one—but four mission trips. And have plans for more in the near future.
• Developed a deep love for missions and Haiti in particular.
• Joined the prison ministry.
• Backpacked the Grand Canyon.
• Confronted (although not conquered) my fear of public speaking. 
•  Made close friends who have a heart for writing, for missions and especially for the Lord.

I don’t know why I hurt my elbow…or why it refuses to get better. Was it bad luck? An accident? Divine intervention? Perhaps. I do know that when one door closed, a wonderful path came into view. One I started on reluctantly, but now travel enthusiastically. On the road I’ve experienced God in rich and powerful ways. He’s opened my eyes and broken my heart to love His children. And He’s awakened a sense of adventure that is such a part of who I am now.

With the improvements God’s done in me, it’s fitting my blog reflects that change. I no longer see myself as primarily a thinker. A ponderer. An observer. Now I’m a do-er. A risk taker. An adventurer.

And with our awesome God as my guide I’m discovering I’m not so ordinary after all.

We may be happy and comfortable in our lives, but our plans are not always God’s plans, and the good things we do are not always the best He has in store.

Where is God be leading you from "good" to "best" ... from thinking to doing?

"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." (Romans 12:2)

Haiti and Me . . . March 2010

Worth Fighting For

It’s been a while since I’ve written and I’ve missed it. I’ve been busy with this …and this … and that. And in the process I’ve gotten out of the habit and have moved my attention to others things. It also doesn’t help that I’m one of the world’s slowest writers and it takes a good deal of time to write each post, story and article.

But the practical excuses are only part of the reason. Perhaps the truest reason is that the fruitful connection I've felt with the Holy Spirit—my muse—has gone dark. It's like someone's turned the radio station between channels and I hear mostly static with occasional snippets of communication. Without the "urging" to write I haven't. Without the writing I've gotten out of the practice of listening. Without the listening I've lost the connection. It's become a chicken and egg kind of thing.

While this isn't a new struggle, for a time I thought I felt the peace of victory and reconnection with God (like “the old days”). But an inner battle continues and I feel the pull of apathy overtaking the pull of passion.

It seems that writing—continuing with it or walking away—is the tipping point for me.

And I don’t want to walk away. I don’t want to look back on writing with fondness as something I used to do. No. I want to press on. To keep writing as a way to talk with God, to experience Him and to share His Good News. And I want to rediscover the passionate love for God that energizes my spirit in a way nothing else does.

So, this morning I looked for inspiration outside “the voices in my head” and found them in God’s word. In Acts 17. (It's amazing how much that book speaks to me!)

Paul and Silas were in Thessalonica preaching the good news of Jesus. Crowds gathered to listen. Some Jews, God-fearing Greeks and quite a few prominent women came to faith in Jesus. But the other Jews weren't at all happy with the happenings in their town. In fact, they were jealous. So jealous that they "rounded up some bad characters from the marketplace, formed a mob and started a riot in the city.” (v. 5)

These Jews felt threatened by Paul and Silas. By their popularity. By the excitement that surrounded them. By their success. And by the way their message of Jesus contradicted with their understanding of God. They wanted to protect their position, status and ideas...so they started a riot. 

I love that the Bible isn’t an allegorical tale, but a real story of real people. People from whom we can learn a lot about humanity. In this story, the Jews shine a mirror on our own lives and show us a facet of ourselves we’d rather not see—or admit to. Jealousy.

Who, me…jealous? I’ve never rounded up bad characters and started a riot. I’ve never dragged someone out of his house and thrown him into prison. I’m nothing at all like those Jewish people.

Or am I?

According to dictionary.com, jealousy means:

1. resentment against a rival, a person enjoying success or advantage, etc., or against another's success or advantage itself.
2. mental uneasiness from suspicion or fear of rivalry, unfaithfulness, etc.,
3. vigilance in maintaining or guarding something.
4. a jealous feeling, disposition, state, or mood.

Well, if you put it that way…

I might never have gathered a mob, but I’ve certainly created a riot in my own mind. I’ve been suspicious or uneasy of ideas that differ from mine. I’ve drug someone’s reputation through the mud because I felt threatened. I’ve felt the burn of resentment when someone received attention/recognition/position I aspired to. Sadly, the list goes on.

As the story continues in Acts 17, Paul and Silas secretly left Thessalonica and went to Berea where the “Bereans were of more noble character than those in Thessalonica, for they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day...” (v. 11)

Meanwhile, the Thessalonian Jews’ jealousy devoured them like a cancer.

As much as I’d like the opposite to be true, I relate more to the Thessalonians (at least initially) than the Bereans. My flaws are plentiful and my natural character isn’t so “noble.” Far from it.

But this is what makes the Good News such great news—for you and for me. It doesn’t matter how numerous our imperfections or how impure our actions or how broken we are, the grace of Jesus meets us exactly where we are. And accepts us exactly as we are.

Naturally I might be more like a Thessalonian, but supernaturally I want to be like a Berean. And while I am so much of a work in progress, I have faith that the same Spirit who turned Paul from a murderer to an evangelist. Who fueled the Thessalonian church to stand firm in their faith despite intense persecution. And who has been transforming lives for two thousand years can transform mine as well.

Is this a truth to cling to and a hope to keep fighting for? I sure think it is.

"I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh." (Ezekiel 36:26)

Bliss in the Solitude

I. Am. In. Heaven.


My kids left this afternoon on a trip with my parents. My husband is on a business appointment. And I am home alone in a quiet house—with no one to carpool, no deadlines pressing and no interruptions. Just Tess and I hanging out—relaxed and carefree. (Although pretty much every day for our adorable yellow lab is stress-free and chill.) But, I do think she looks particularly pleased as she’s laying at my feet.


It’s been a long while since I’ve had this kind of solitude. And my heart is happy. I need this.


Plus, I’ve exercised, I’ve showered and the laundry is done. Even the dinner menu is planned. (Who says God doesn't do miracles!) So, what was the first order of business? To curl up on my favorite loveseat and finish my latest book…and enjoy a mini-catnap.


Now I’m reviewing my notes from the writers’ conference last week and planning my next writing steps. From top to bottom, the conference was a great experience. I have a book idea brewing and proposed the concept to a few editors/agents/publishers. Part of me wanted them all to say, “Forget it. It’s been done. Your idea is stale. There’s no market for it. You don’t have what it takes.” Seriously. I see how much of an uphill struggle book publishing is, and a big part of me says, Why would any sane person pursue that road?!


But the writing professionals didn’t dissuade me. In fact one of them said my idea was the only one that excited him from the entire conference. Of course, I was flattered and encouraged, but needed to remind myself that I haven’t even written one sentence of said book yet!


The whole experience made me question my gifts, my calling and my next steps. How does God want me to proceed? What gifts should I develop them more fully? Should I concentrate on ministry or look for paying opportunities? Should I stay in my small arena where it’s safe and relative success is guaranteed or venture out into the unknown and risk catastrophic failure?


I say I like adventure, and I do, but there is so much that scares and intimidates me about taking a next step. My weaknesses seem a glaring liability—my deficiencies a brick wall. I look around and see so many writers who write with far greater skill, humor, compassion and eloquence. I see writers who love the spotlight and speaking and platform-building (necessary for authors). I visit websites and blogs that show lives and families that resemble pages from the latest JCrew, Pottery Barn or Gourmet magazines. Who lives this way?


I hear the message, Only the exceptional need apply.


I know this mindset is a thorn (certainly one of many) in my side. And I know the enemy wants me to marinate in these feelings of inadequacy. But part of me believes I’m right— that I’m not good enough. That I don’t measure up. And that while I may be lots of things, exceptional isn’t one of them.


Thankfully, the Bible is filled with stories of unlikely, unwilling and unqualified people through whom God did great things. I call to mind the promise of the cross. If Jesus lived, died and conquered death, surely He can slay the demons of doubt that infest me. Surely He can fulfill His purpose in me, regardless of my confidence in the matter.


And He can do the same with you. I don’t know where your confidence lies right now or what insecurities plague you. I don’t know why women especially, struggle with feelings of inadequacy. But so many of us do.


But Jesus is our hope. He is our strength. And He is our peace. His grace covers our weakness, and overcomes the voice in our head and the lies of this world. “I’ve told you all this so that trusting me, you will be unshakable and assured, deeply at peace. In this godless world you will continue to experience difficulties. But take heart! I’ve conquered the world.” (John 16:32-33, The Message)


I take these words to heart. I drink in their truth and promise. I press on, reaffirmed that I'm not going it alone. And I offer up a prayer of thanks for the gifts God's given me—starting with a blissfully, quiet house.

A Great Conference

First of all…I noticed I have some new subscribers. Thank you and welcome! I’m not sure how you found my blog, but I’m glad you did. Also, thank you to my friends who faithfully read my blog, but never comment. It blesses me to know you're there.

What a whirlwind few days. I attended the Philadelphia Christian Writer’s Conference and thoroughly enjoyed the classes and camaraderie. I had a great time seeing some friends from last year and making new ones. It fed my soul being in the presence of fellow writers who love Jesus and want to share His story.

I branched out during the conference and took a workshop on how to write a novel—taught by Susan May Warren. I never even considered writing fiction before, but after taking Susan’s class I might try! She demystified the process of storytelling and gave practical tools that will make my current writing much better (if I apply what I learned!). Plus, it was worth taking the class just to meet Susan—I just love her! She’s incredibly talented, enthusiastic and just adorable. Even though she’s written 26 books, she’s so down-to-earth and accessible.

Everything I learned in her workshop is detailed in her just-released, hands-on book From the Inside Out: Discover, Create and Publish the Novel in You. Check it out!

Stay tuned, I may take a stab at fiction in the near future.

I got to spend time with my writing group friends Denise, Connie and Cathy. I joined the group as a result of befriending the group's leader, Fran, at last year’s Phila. conference and have loved gathering together for face-to-face critique. Our meetings are always so focused that it was nice to spend more leisurely time over meals at the conference.

Another conference highlight was meeting e-friends in the flesh and seeing that they actually exist! What fun I had hanging out with my new blogging friends Kelly (Chatty Kelly), Sonya (Truth 4 the journey) and Laurie (Supernatural Living). On Friday evening I met Susan (Eternity Café) and Shelley. The six of us got to talking after dinner about writing and blogging and balancing life as a writer/mom/wife. We talked so long the cafeteria staff kicked us out so they could lock up!

Laurie, Kelly, Sonya and me (I feel like a giant!)

And so last week I took one more step in this crazy, frustrating, scary, emotional, thrilling, challenging, exhilarating journey I call writing. If nothing else, the conference confirmed that as a writer I need to keep on keeping on.

Blog-iversary Giveaway...and a Look Back

It’s hard to believe a year has passed since I entered the land of blogging. I’ve enjoyed reading as others have celebrated this milestone in their own unique way. (I just loved Peace for the Journey’s blogiversary party last week!) But, my celebration will be like me, understated and reflective. Plus, my husband tossed in his idea, “I think it’s time you did a giveaway.”

Before I go any further, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for joining me on this journey. To my friends and family, many of you have followed since my first post. Some have joined in somewhere along the way. Others may be reading for the first time. Thank you for your encouragement, support and prayers. While your sweet comments bless my socks off, some of you read faithfully but never comment. I appreciate your presence.

For years I sensed God prompting me to write. Life got in the way and the best I managed was some journaling and a few articles in my church newsletter. On New Years’ Eve 2007 I felt God give me a nudge, “What are you waiting for. I’ll help you, but I’m not going to write for you.” (My paraphrase) So I made a promise, “Lord, this year, I'll to stop talking about writing and actually start doing it—for You.”

A few days later a story idea popped into my head. A few days later another. God certainly didn’t waste time providing the inspiration! I started jotting things down.

At the beginning of February I told my friend Debbie, “I think you should start a blog. It’s not for me, but I think it would give you a great way to write about all the crazy things that happen in your life. I’ll help you.” That night I Googled “how to start a blog.” I clicked on a link and followed the instructions. To help Deb, I decided to try it out for myself first. An hour later, I’d created my very own blog. And to my surprise I loved the idea. Ninety-four posts later, I’m still at it!

I thought I’d share Ten Reflective Ponderings and Lessons Learned from this past year (in no particular order):

1. I certainly kept true to my promise to God to write more. In 2007 I wrote about 3,000 words. Since starting my blog in 2008, I wrote over 75,000!
   
   
2. Along the way I know God’s used some of those words for good: to help others to see a new facet of Him, know they’re not alone or take a step further in faith. Friends have told me they’ve shared things I’ve written with their Bible studies. I marvel at our awesome God and am eternally grateful for this privilege and honor.
   
   
3. While blogging is a solitary act, I’ve been surprised to see it’s really about relationships. It’s helped me deepen my relationship with God, reconnect with old friends and distant relatives, stay in touch with loved ones and meet so many beautiful, godly women who I now call “friend.”
   
   
4. Thank you to my wonderful husband who graciously pre-reads many of my posts, gives editorial input and allows me to spend entirely too much time on the computer, with little complaint. Although I’m pretty sure he thinks there’s something going on with me and Mr. Linky!
   
   
5. Blogging can easily get our priorities out of whack. First is the time drain. I’ve had to really evaluate how much time I spend in the blogosphere. Between writing, commenting and visiting others, one can get lost here for days! I have to accept the reality that I can’t visit and comment as much as I’d like (Sorry!).
   Second is the comparison trap. I already struggle with comparing myself to others. With all of the statistics and ratings, blogging takes it to a whole new level. I've often fretted, "How many readers/comments/witty stories/deep insights do I have vs. other bloggers?"
   As a result, I have to continually re-center myself on my purpose: why do I blog? Bottom line: To bring glory to God, not to me.
   
   
6. If I strive for the above purpose and end up looking or feeling (which is more often the case) like a fool, so be it. It’s in God’s hands. (It's taken a lot of anguish to be able to say that.)
   
   
7. It’s gotten to the point where I simply have to write. Ideas pop into my head all the time. (If you want to write more or learn to listen for God’s voice, blog!)
   
   
8. Probably since I keep them mostly out of it, my family is incredibly patient, supportive and proud of my blog. (I know my daughter shares my web address with others, even her public school teachers. That’s high praise coming from a teenager!)
   
   
9. A dream of mine is to go on a cross-country road trip to visit my blog friends.
   
   
10. The words of my blog have traveled to 45 states, 34 countries and 6 continents. Who says we can’t be international missionaries!

Whew! I have much more to say, but I’ll stop here. Thanks again for joining me on this journey. I don’t know where I’m going, but it’s been a heck of a ride so far.

Now for the giveaway.

I wracked my brain for an idea that was meaningful, but I hadn’t seen done anywhere else. And I want it to be something you can share with your family and friends so you can tell you them, “See, I’m really spending all that time on my computer so I can win free stuff for you.”

So in honor of Valentine’s Day, marriage and baked goods I’m giving away the newly-released Fireproof DVD and a selection of Tastykakes (a Philadelphia specialty). Let me tell you, if you haven’t eaten a Butterscotch Krimpet or Peanut Butter KandyKake, you haven’t fully lived! Also…did you know Fireproof was produced for just $500,000 and earned more than $33 million at the box office? Even if you don't win, rent it and make a date to watch this inspirational movie with your husband, friends and even your older children. (If you aren’t married, I have another gift for you, if you’d prefer.)

To enter, leave me a comment with a way to get in touch with you. I will pick a random winner next Thursday evening and post the winner on Friday (2/20). For my technically-challenged friends, if you can’t leave a comment, you can send me an email at lightbulblab (at) comcast (dot) net.

With thankfulness,
Kelli

Words Matter

Twenty six-letters. That’s it. That’s all the English alphabet offers. Yet, look at what’s possible. The combining, creating and reorganizing of words is a never-ending gift.

Obviously since I write, I love words. They offer sport and respite and exploration. I noodle over crossword puzzles. I read constantly—and dream of the perfect afternoon spent curled up by a fire with a good book. I edit and proofread others’ work to help their words sparkle. And I write—sometimes because I have to, but mostly because I simply must.

Even so, I have much to learn about writing.

Whether you view writing as a dreaded task or joyful jaunt, sooner or later we all have to write. And when we do, how we write says something about us. People notice our words—especially when they’re incorrect. Like it or not, typos, misspelling, and improper usage make us look dumb.

It’s one thing to mess up on a note to a friend—who knows how brilliant you really are. It’s another to botch a letter to a prospective employer, an email to your distribution list, a report to your boss or a post to the entire blogosphere.

The electronic age has us communicating faster and faster. We hit “send” without a moment’s pause to proofread. I shudder to think of the number of emails I’ve sent with glaring mistakes. Or blogs posted with accidental errors. Ugh!

Even if we choose immediacy over accuracy, or have forgotten—or perhaps never quite figured out—those wonderful rules of spelling, grammar and usage, contrary to popular opinion, correct writing has NOT gone the way of the typewriter or corded telephone. It’s as relevant and in-fashion as ever.

That’s why my heart did a happy dance when I happened upon this article: The Inigo Montoya Guide to 27 Commonly Misused Words. Even though the site is geared toward marketers, it provides even the most talented writer an “aha” moment or two. Plus, the author has a great sense of humor. See, learning grammar can be fun!

Do yourself (and your future readers) a favor and check out this website. It sure showed me how much further I have to go with my learning…or is it “farther?”

“Go now, write it on a tablet for them, inscribe it on a scroll, that for
the days to come it may be an everlasting witness.” (Isaiah 30:8)

The Journey of a Thousand Miles

If you’re coming to my blog by way of today’s Proverbs 31 devotional, welcome!

I can’t even believe I’m typing those words! Today is my first day as a published author. I’m trying to act nonchalant, but inside I’m doing a happy dance! For many years I’ve written—mostly journaling and personal reflection stories—for my eyes only. But several years ago, God put a call in my heart to write. I managed to write for my church newsletter a few times a year, but past that, life got in the way and writing never made it to the top of my to-do list.

This New Year’s Eve, I promised the Lord I would stop procrastinating and start writing. I dedicated my writing to Him. Shortly afterward I started this blog. It’s been a great way to discipline myself to write regularly…and fairly well. During the last six months I’ve written more than I had in the previous six years!

In some ways, the past six months have been the most challenging both spiritually and emotionally, but in other ways they’ve been the most uplifting and affirming. On many occasions I’ve been discouraged and felt like quitting this writing thing, but each time I’ve felt the hand of God encourage me to continue on. So I have. I know deep in my soul that I’m called to write. Whether it’s in God’s plan for me to be published widely is yet to be seen. The important thing is that I do it—and I do it for His glory, not mine.

I read on another writer’s blog, that even though the road as a writer can be very difficult, if we have a God-given talent to write, we must use it. We have no choice. God demands nothing less.

Wow! Those words really spelled it out. She’s right, though.

In Matthew 25, Jesus teaches about this very thing when he tells his disciples the parable of the talents: A master gave each of three servants money. “To one he gave five talents of money, to another two talents, and to another one talent, each according to his ability.” (v.15) After a while the master went to settle accounts with the servants. He asked them what they’d done with the money. The first two servants had doubled their money. Their master praised each one, “Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!” (v.23)

But the third servant feared losing the talent so he buried it only to return what he’d originally been given. The master chastised the servant, “Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him. And throw that worthless servant outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.” (v.29-30)

Yikes! That’s a pretty harsh consequence. Jesus doesn't mince words in this parable. Each of us has God-given talents. Notice verse 15 doesn’t say they all received the same. No, they each received “according to their ability.” We have gifts that have been handpicked by God—just for us. We may look around and think we don’t have much to offer compared to someone else, and maybe that’s true in the eyes of the world, but to Jesus, what we have to offer is just what He wants.

The consequence of burying, hiding or ignoring our talent is enormous! When we stand before our Maker and He asks for an accounting of what we’ve done with the gifts He’s given us, telling Him we were too busy, uncertain or afraid will not be the right answer.

Our gifts come in all shapes and sizes. From preaching to thousands to teaching Sunday School to working on mission projects to folding newsletters for a ministry—it’s not what we do, but THAT we do.

I can tell you from personal experience, this step of faith usually requires us to travel off our “map.” It’s not always fun and definitely not always comfortable. As hard as the journey is, it all begins with a single step. And what better motivation than to be able to stand at the gates of heaven and hear Jesus say, “Well done, good and faithful servant...Come and share in my happiness.”

What gifts has God given you? Are you using them to make His name famous? If not, what’s holding you back? Your family? Your job? Your hobbies? Fear? Uncertainty?

Pray that God specifically shows you where He's calling you. Take time to listen to His still small voice. Trust that He does have a plan just for you.

By Faith, Not By Sight

It’s been longer than usual between postings partly because I’ve been busy with actual paying work. Partly because of the long weekend. And partly because of writers’ block—three partially written articles wait for an ending I can’t seem to locate.

I thought writing would get easier with time and in fact, it’s gotten harder. Struggling with ideas and being unable to finish articles has caused me to question my purpose as a writer. A few months ago when I started this blog, I was so excited to start a new adventure. I felt an incredible sense of God’s presence in my writing and the insights came quickly and (fairly) coherently. I experienced God in a way I never had before. It was exhilarating.

Now my thoughts are jumbled and God’s leading seems distant.

I wonder, should I stop writing? Did I misinterpret God’s calling? Did He only need me for a short while and now He’s moved on to another writer? I’ve prayed and earnestly asked God to guide my next steps. Thankfully He answered those prayers—not with a definitive answer, but with insight.

We’ve had some great weather here lately, but last week one day in particular was incredible. It was the kind of day we get just a few times a year. The sky was rich turquoise, the light and shadows razor-sharp, the foliage radiant and the clouds like sculptures. Even the strip malls looked magnificent! My heart quickened as the photographer in me wanted to grab my camera and dive in.

I think our relationship with God can be like this. Once in a while we experience the Almighty in a profound way. For brief moments we see Him clearly and crisply. We directly feel the Spirit guiding our purposes. We savor the view.

It’s the kind of experience we want to last forever.

And someday it will. But here on earth our view is obscured. “Now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.” (1 Cor. 13:12)

Just because I see God dimly, doesn’t mean He is any less present in my life. In answer to my prayers for direction, I received and have meditated on this verse: “We live by faith, not by sight.” (2 Cor. 5:7) Faith is not about emotion and certainty. It’s about choice—choosing to persevere when the outlook is hazy. Faith means we keep on keeping on even when it doesn’t seem like we’re making much progress.

Look at the saints in the “Faith Hall of Fame” in Hebrews 11. Noah, Abraham, Sarah, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, Moses and Rahab. They all chose faith when their circumstances (and I’m sure their feelings) said otherwise. They chose to believe God’s promises even though they never fully received what was promised.

Noah spent decades building the ark, Sarah waited 25 years for a baby and Moses wandered in the desert for 40 years. I struggled with writing for just a month. Why am I so impatient?!

For now, God’s gentle guiding has set me straight and started the words to flow again. Until I sense His directing me otherwise, I will persevere. Who knows what He has in store for me, or for any of us? I do believe when we live by faith, not by sight, God's plans are so much more incredible than any we could ever devise. We just need some patience.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have some unfinished stories to attend to.