Notes for the Journey

Today we’re leaving for a trip to Arizona to visit the Grand Canyon and to celebrate my Grandmother’s 90th birthday. Yesterday was a day of packing and preparing.

My husband and I are excited because it’s our first big family trip in over a year and our first trip ever to the Grand Canyon.

Our kids are excited too, although with all the enthusiasm of an ennui-filled teenager, my daughter’s response was, “What’s the big deal? It’s just a big hole in the ground.” (Lord, give me patience!) But where my daughter lacks words, my 10-year-old son more than fills the silence. Since this is his first trip to Arizona as well as the Grand Canyon he asked a lot of questions yesterday. A. lot. of. questions!

With his habitual mantra of Why? What? How? When? he’s often focused on figuring out the unknown. As a result he frequently misses the unfolding discoveries of new experiences.

When we arrive in Phoenix we’ll visit with a dear friend of mine from high school. Then we’re off to the Grand Canyon. There are many unknowns. Yesterday as we packed, my son’s brain was in overdrive trying to identify, categorize and sort them all.

- What are her (my friend’s) kids going to be like?
- Do they have a pool? How big is it?
- When we land? What time will it be at home?
- How long is the drive to the Grand Canyon?
- What will our room look like?
- How far away is the Canyon from our room?
- How wide are the paths that we hike on?
- Why can’t we hike to the bottom? I want to play in the water.
- Will there be water along the way?
- Will we see coyote?
- What kind of SUV did we rent?
- What time do we get home? Is that Arizona time or our time?

Whew, all that in ten minutes! I’m not kidding!

Even if I could answer all his questions, dozens more lay in wait. Because he wants to envision a moment-by-moment picture in his mind’s eye. But what concrete answers can adequately describe the actual experience of traveling to an exciting new place, visiting with family and friends we rarely see and witnessing the majesty of a natural wonder.

His questions got me thinking about our faith journey and the questions we ask along the way. Why? What? How? When?

- Why do bad things happen to good people?
- Why wasn’t my prayer answered?
- How can all the stories in the Old Testament really be true?
- Why are there starving people in Africa?
- What about religious people who die who aren’t Christians?
- What does heaven look like?
- Why does God let evil exist if He’s really all-powerful?
- Why do I have to tell others?
- Why isn’t it enough that I’m a good person?
- When is Jesus coming again?

We ask and ask and ask. Some of our questions can be answered. Others can’t—yet. Even if they are, dozens more lay in wait. But as we focus on figuring out the situation-by-situation specifics we miss the experience.

“Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” (Hebrews 11:1) Besides, what concrete answers can adequately describe how much God loves us or what it’s like, through Jesus, to have a personal relationship with the Creator of the Universe? And that’s the point of the journey, isn’t it?

I’m excited for the experiences and memories our trip will bring. But most of all I can’t wait to stand on the edge of the Grand Canyon and take in a view that I'm sure will be magnificent.

I can only imagine the view at the gates of heaven will be even better!

By Faith, Not By Sight

It’s been longer than usual between postings partly because I’ve been busy with actual paying work. Partly because of the long weekend. And partly because of writers’ block—three partially written articles wait for an ending I can’t seem to locate.

I thought writing would get easier with time and in fact, it’s gotten harder. Struggling with ideas and being unable to finish articles has caused me to question my purpose as a writer. A few months ago when I started this blog, I was so excited to start a new adventure. I felt an incredible sense of God’s presence in my writing and the insights came quickly and (fairly) coherently. I experienced God in a way I never had before. It was exhilarating.

Now my thoughts are jumbled and God’s leading seems distant.

I wonder, should I stop writing? Did I misinterpret God’s calling? Did He only need me for a short while and now He’s moved on to another writer? I’ve prayed and earnestly asked God to guide my next steps. Thankfully He answered those prayers—not with a definitive answer, but with insight.

We’ve had some great weather here lately, but last week one day in particular was incredible. It was the kind of day we get just a few times a year. The sky was rich turquoise, the light and shadows razor-sharp, the foliage radiant and the clouds like sculptures. Even the strip malls looked magnificent! My heart quickened as the photographer in me wanted to grab my camera and dive in.

I think our relationship with God can be like this. Once in a while we experience the Almighty in a profound way. For brief moments we see Him clearly and crisply. We directly feel the Spirit guiding our purposes. We savor the view.

It’s the kind of experience we want to last forever.

And someday it will. But here on earth our view is obscured. “Now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.” (1 Cor. 13:12)

Just because I see God dimly, doesn’t mean He is any less present in my life. In answer to my prayers for direction, I received and have meditated on this verse: “We live by faith, not by sight.” (2 Cor. 5:7) Faith is not about emotion and certainty. It’s about choice—choosing to persevere when the outlook is hazy. Faith means we keep on keeping on even when it doesn’t seem like we’re making much progress.

Look at the saints in the “Faith Hall of Fame” in Hebrews 11. Noah, Abraham, Sarah, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, Moses and Rahab. They all chose faith when their circumstances (and I’m sure their feelings) said otherwise. They chose to believe God’s promises even though they never fully received what was promised.

Noah spent decades building the ark, Sarah waited 25 years for a baby and Moses wandered in the desert for 40 years. I struggled with writing for just a month. Why am I so impatient?!

For now, God’s gentle guiding has set me straight and started the words to flow again. Until I sense His directing me otherwise, I will persevere. Who knows what He has in store for me, or for any of us? I do believe when we live by faith, not by sight, God's plans are so much more incredible than any we could ever devise. We just need some patience.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have some unfinished stories to attend to.