I’ve been away for a while. Not away physically, but taking a break. Going within. Venturing out. Connecting with friends. Wrestling with faith. Searching…and to a small degree finding.
Old issues. New questions. A never-ending quest. And through it all God remains the same, regardless of how assured or shaky my point of view. The more I learn, the more I see how little I really know.
But I do know that today seems to be the day that I’ll start to write again. And that’s a good thing.
This spring Dan and I will celebrate 20 years of marriage. Not a huge milestone, but one we’re proud of. To mark the occasion we’ve planned something special. Something for which I need to be in shape. There was a day—not that long ago—when I was in darn good shape. When I used words like “heart rate” and “cadence” and “hill climb” in the same sentence. When I had gear and a training schedule and a “team.” That day is not today.
While I regularly take long walks with my dog, I honestly haven’t broken a sweat during a workout for a looooong time! My gym membership has become a donation. (Too bad the gym isn’t a charity.)
It’s not that I don’t like to workout (really), it’s that I’ve lost the habit. First to playing tennis and then to creeping laziness. Now the inertia keeps me firmly planted. In the battle between stasis and momentum, the former won hands down.
But the trip Dan and I have planned has given me motivation and a goal to work toward. So, last week for the first time in over a year (or two), I got back on my road bike and went for a spin (albeit on rollers in my basement). As expected it hurt. My legs hurt, my heart hurt and my butt hurt (that bike seat is hard!). But with my iPod blaring my favorite Christian tunes, the music carried me along.
I warmed up to Bethany Dillon.
Road the flats with Kirk Franklin, Bebo Norman and Casting Crowns.
Cranked up hills with Third Day and David Crowder.
And cooled down with Chris Tomlin.
Sweat dripped down my brow and off the tip of my nose. It drenched my shirt and ran down my calves. The blood flowed as I used long untapped muscles. I dug for endurance where I wasn’t sure I’d find any. The adrenaline surge reminded me of how much I enjoy this. And most of all, focused solely on the music, long-familiar songs spoke to my spirit in new ways. My workout became an amazing time of worship. And a sweaty, out-of-breath prayer.
The words of Psalm 139 rang in my head, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” (v. 14) What miraculous creations we are. And how glorious to offer that which God created, our bodies, back to Him in thanksgiving and praise—no matter what our abilities or fitness level.
While one exercise session, no matter how inspiring, can't solve all that weighs me down, I thank God for blessing me with His presence and pray for His spirit to motivate and sustain me through the next 85 (or so). I’ll keep you posted.
We are wonderfully made, indeed.
Gotta’ run. Even more exciting than a motivating workout is the new season of 24, which starts NOW. That is definitely something that gets my blood pumping!